Also available to download as document.

Adapted from: www.businessballs.com

Listening

Passive listening or not listening	Ignoring, paying attention to other things; very obvious
Pretend listening	Not concentrating and will not remember; daydreaming or distracted by something else even though pretending to be listening; speaker can usually tell
Biased listening or projective listening (selective listening)	Because you already have such firm opposing or different views, or a resistance to the speaker, you are not allowing anything that is said to influence your attitude and level of knowledge and understanding; you are aware you are doing this
Misunderstood listening	You have an interest and perhaps some flexibility in respect of the words spoken and your reactions to them, but because you are not thinking objectively you are putting your own interpretation on what you are hearing – making the words fit what you expect or want them to fit; you are not normally aware you are doing this
Attentive “data-only” listening	You listen only to the content and fail to receive all the non-verbal sounds and signals such as tone of voice, facial expression, reaction of speaker to your own listening and reactions; can gather reliable facts but fails to gather and suitably respond to emotions and feeling and the situation of the other person; typically driven by a strong personal results motive and can be highly manipulative and forceful
Active listening	Listening to words, intonation, and observing body language and facial express; giving feedback but empty of two-way emotional involvement or empathy; no transmitted identification with the other persons feelings and emotional needs
Empathic listening	Listening will full attention to the sounds and all other relevant signals, including ·         Tone of voice ·         Other verbal aspects (pace, volume, breathlessness, flow, style, emphasis) ·         Facial expression ·         Body language ·         Cultural, ethnic or other aspects of the person which would affect the way their communications and signals are affecting you ·         Feeling – requires you to have an overall collective appreciation through all relevant senses of how the other person is feeling ·         You are able to see and feel the situation from the other person’s position   You are reacting, giving feedback and checking understanding with the speaker, maybe taking notes and checking if they are correct.
Facilitative listening	Empathetic listening with the added implication that you are able to extend help to the other person. Includes the ability to interpret the cognizance of the speaker and weight the consequences of the other person’s behavior even if the other person cannot. You think carefully how you will respond, pausing the conversation to do so if needed. There is a strong element of being interested in helping the other person see and understand their options and choices. It’s all about extending help – the other person’s interests are in the forefront.

Body Language – Translation of Gestures, Signs and Other Factors

Context

Body language in one situation might not mean the same in another. Someone with crossed arms might be keeping warm, rather than being defensive.

 

Sufficient Samples/Evidence

A single body language signal isn't as reliable as several signals. As with any system of evidence, 'clusters' of body language signals provide much more reliable indication of meaning than one or two signals in isolation. Look for combinations of signals which support an overall conclusion, especially for signals which can mean two or more quite different things.

Looking for 'micro gestures' (pupils contract, an eyebrow lifts, corner of the mouth twitch) can help identify the true meaning and motive behind one or two strong and potentially false signals.

These micro gestures are very small, difficult to spot and are subconscious, but we cannot control them, hence their usefulness.

 

Impact of Person-Specific Variables

• Culture/Ethnicity

Certain body language is the same in all people, for example smiling and frowning, but some body language is specific to a culture or ethnic group. See http://www.businessballs.com/body-language.htm#body-language-different-cultures below for specifics.

 

• Age and Gender

Many body language signals are relative. A gesture by one person in a certain situation can carry far more, or very little meaning, compared to the same gesture used by a different person in a different situation. Young men for example often display a lot of pronounced gestures because they are naturally energetic, uninhibited and supple. Older women, relatively, are less energetic, adopt more modest postures, and may be prevented by upbringing from exhibiting very pronounced gestures.

 

Impact of Circumstances

It is often the situation, not the person - for example, here are examples of circumstances which can produce negative feelings and signals in people, often even if they are strong and confident:

• dominance of a person perceived to be in authority
• overloading a person with new knowledge or learning
• tiredness
• stress caused by anything
• cold weather or cold conditions
• lack of food and drink
• illness or disability
• alcohol or drugs
• being in a minority or feeling excluded
• unfamiliarity - newness – change

Personal Space

The amount of space people find comfortable between themselves and others depends on the individual cultural and living background, the situation, and relationships. Of the five space zones that are the basis of personal space analysis, the most appropriate for people providing services in a library is the Social-Consultative.

• 4 to 12 feet between you and the other person
• Non-touch interaction
• Touching not possible unless both people reach out to do it (such as in a handshake)

At six to eighteen inches of space between individuals, non-consenting intrusion into this space is normally felt to be uncomfortable or even threatening. At eighteen inches to four feet touching is possible but intimacy is not so touching other than hand-shaking is potentially uncomfortable.